In Which the Laws of Nature Turn against Hugo Wea
by ty.soglasna
Summary: The universe was against him: this was the only possible rational explanation for how Hugo'd ended up here, stuffed inside the tiny broom cupboard with none other than Scorpius Malfoy. Slash, oneshot. MATURE CONTENT WARNING OMG.


**Title:** In Which the Laws of Nature Turn against Hugo Weasley  
**Pairing: **Hugo/Scorpius  
**Rating: ** NC-17  
**Warnings: ** Frottage, boyish obliviousness  
**Word count: **~2200  
**Summary: **Hugo did not ask to be put in this position.**  
Notes: **For **redsnake05**'s birthday! I went and pillaged her kinks list for ideas, and it proved very fruitful indeed. *g* I picked a prompt and a theme and planned out this neat little 4-part drabble series... and then it exploded. The first part is a real drabble (100 words, baby!), the second part is a lazy drabble (er, 130), the third part kind of ran away with me, and the fourth part never even knew it was supposed to be a drabble. Hence the weird structure. I've been informed it's not entirely unreadable. ;) Thanks to **tjwritter** for the super-quick beta!

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There are only three certainties in this life--the laws of physics, the laws of Murphy, and death.

If these were certainties in any traditional sense of the word, then Hugo should have never ended up where he was now, crammed into the tiny broom cupboard with Scorpius Malfoy and a raging hard-on. Or maybe it just proved the universe was out against him. It had, after all, displayed its ill wishes time and time again, and he had obstinately ignored every single one. The funny thing was, these things only happened when he was around a certain blond Slytherin...

The laws of physics had been the first to turn against him. Hugo should have taken it for the sign it was, but he had been blissfully ignorant, then, of the universe's designs on him. He'd been innocently walking to class that morning with Lily and her friends, as he always did, when the force of gravity suddenly decided to enact its own personal vendetta. Gravity, and probably inertia, too, as Scorpius careened around the corner and ploughed into Hugo, bringing them both toppling down on the stone floor.

Hugo found himself face-down in the crook of Scorpius's neck and without the faintest idea of where to put his hands to get up. His first try was a miscalculation, and he promptly slid back down astride Scorpius's thigh.

Oh, and friction hated him too. Never forget the friction.

Murphy's law turned on him next. The incident in the hall had been awkward enough, but what followed was much, much worse. Lily wouldn't leave him alone about it, and neither would anyone else once she'd told them. Somehow, the tumble in the hall morphed into an out-and-out episode of frenzied frottage, and from there the gossip mill took it and ran. By the time he tried to set the record straight with Lily, it was already far too late.

"You were kissing; I saw it with my own eyes," she proclaimed decisively.

"We were _not_ kissing!!"

"Hugo, you can't dispute an eyewitness."

"What?! _I_ was the one on top of him—"

"Mm, yes you were."

"—and I can promise you, my lips were nowhere near his. No kissing. None."

"I didn't say lip kissing, necessarily. Looked like you were doing a pretty good number on his neck from where I was standing."

"I—I wasn't _kissing_ his neck! I was trying to get up! I can't help if that's where I happened to land!"

"Mm-hm, keep telling yourself that," Lily said, and nodded in that infuriating way that meant her agreement was no kind of agreement at all.

Lily's opinion seemed to be the one shared by the better half of the school body, and it was utterly humiliating. Hugo could hardly go anywhere without being the subject of whispers and knowing glances.

He should have known it could only get worse.

"James is bringing Ogden's and we're all going to play truth or dare," Lily enthused. "I can't wait for tonight."

Hugo felt as if his stomach had just decided to attempt to occupy his feet instead of his abdominal cavity. "Oh, really? I might have an urgent essay to write for tomorrow, come to think of it..."

"Hugo, tomorrow's Saturday. Besides, you said you'd come ages ago; you can't back out now."

"I don't know if—"

Lily smiled that knowing smile again. "I double checked with Meghan—Scorpius will definitely be there. Don't be nervous; everything will be fine."

"I'm not nervous! I just don't need you to arrange it so he'll be at the same party as me—playing truth or dare, for fuck's sake, and— Well, it's embarrassing enough as it stands, is all."

"You're blushing," Lily crowed.

"Am not!" Hugo felt his face heat, but surely it was with righteous indignation.

"Come on," Lily dragged him out the portrait hole. "I promise you won't regret anything."

Which, given Hugo's track record, had to mean he'd have everything to regret.

Death, at least, should have been reliable. If there was any justice left in the universe, Hugo should have been dead right now, but he remained horribly, painfully alive, stuck in the stifling cupboard with the Slytherin who had come to be the bane of his existence.

Not so much as a hole opened up under his feet.

"So, do you think we should—"

Scorpius's rich tenor came from far too close, and Hugo suppressed the urge to jump. The broom cupboard was barely large enough for the two of them to stand in without touching, and Hugo was already pressed so close to the wall that an unknown cleaning implement was digging uncomfortably into his back.

"Hugo?" Scorpius asked, startling him again. It must have been the lack of oxygen in here making his stomach do weird flips.

"What?"

"The dare? Do you think we should, maybe..."

"Do we have to?" Hugo's mouth spoke without asking him first. "I mean, they couldn't possibly _find out_, could they, if we didn't?"

"They might..."

"Or they might not," Hugo countered in a frantic whisper. He desperately needed for Scorpius to not come closer or else he'd discover Hugo's erection, and then Hugo really _would_ die of embarrassment. It had to be the heat, or the drink, or the innuendo, or something, that was causing him to be so hard... a purely physiological reaction, having nothing to do with the boy standing a foot away... if he could only make it back outside without Scorpius realizing and taking it the wrong way...

"It might be simpler to just get it over with. Just in case, you know." Scorpius's voice came from practically right next to Hugo's ear, and he did jump this time.

"You mean, you really wouldn't mind—" Hugo broke off, unable to speak the words. Damn Lily for daring them to _snog_, of all things. His cock twitched in his pants at this thought, and Hugo damned it, too, for taking inappropriate interest.

"Er, well, it's not like it's anything you haven't done already, right?" Scorpius said. "There was that time in the hall..."

"Sorry about that," Hugo mumbled, his face heating.

"No, no problem, it was clearly an accident. My fault anyway. Should have looked where I was going."

"Yeah. I mean, if I'd have known you were coming, I'd have shut my mouth at least before I landed on you..." Hugo tried to clear his mind of the memory of attempting that very thing after his mouth was already on Scorpius's skin, but to no avail. His cock twitched again.

They both fell silent and the most awkward thirty seconds of Hugo's entire life passed as if they were thirty years. His last thread of faith in the immutability of laws of nature vanished; if he hadn't died by now he _never_ would.

A loud banging on the cupboard door caused Hugo to knock his shoulder hard on a broom, and he rubbed it, growling.

"Done in there yet?" a taunting voice called.

The handle rattled.

"Quick!" Scorpius whispered, and before Hugo knew it, he was seized roughly by the sides of his face and a pair of chapped lips was smashed against his own. Their teeth clicked together as Hugo tried to get out of the other boy's grip, or, who knows, maybe he was just jockeying for a better angle. His brain had shut off at some point.

Lily's voice rang out from the other side of the cupboard door. "Lor_can_, leave them alone. Haven't you ever heard of privacy?"

"But it's been longer than seven minutes already," Lorcan mumbled as his footsteps receded.

Scorpius was still attached to Hugo by the lips. His hands travelled down to Hugo's shoulders, and he was pulling their bodies together—Hugo vaguely recalled this being a bad idea, but he was too distracted by the movement of Scorpius's mouth to remember why. Something hard pressed into his thigh, and Scorpius's breath hitched, and suddenly Hugo did remember, but he couldn't have cared less. He wanted Scorpius not to move, because there was friction again, and he suddenly wanted to find that spot again, the patch of incredibly soft skin he had tasted all too briefly before...

Hugo dipped his head to Scorpius's neck, hands fumbling with the button of his collar so he could push the material aside and expose more skin. Hugo fastened his mouth to Scorpius's neck and sucked, and Scorpius moaned out loud.

"Merlin, Hugo."

Hugo paused. "Want me to stop? Do you think... that's probably enough, they might come in any moment." He was having a hard time making himself speak without brushing his lips against Scorpius's heated skin.

"Merlin, no, whatever you do don't stop. Privacy, she said."

"Right." Hugo turned his attention to the other side, pausing briefly to dip his tongue into the fascinating hollow at the base of Scorpius's throat before following the line of his collar bone to the swell of his shoulder, pushing the shirt aside as he went.

"Oh, god," Scorpius panted. Suddenly there were hands working at Hugo's fly and pushing his trousers down just enough to free his cock, and long fingers wrapped around its length.

"Fuck," Hugo breathed, biting down on the muscle of Scorpius's shoulder.

"You get mine," Scorpius whispered.

"Yeah," Hugo whispered back. He plunged his hand into Scorpius's trousers without waiting for buttons, an involuntary moan escaping his lips as he suddenly had a handful of very hard, very hot cock, damp with precome.

"_Fuck_." Scorpius jerked in Hugo's grip, and Hugo awkwardly pulled at him. "Trousers," Scorpius panted, and soon the trousers and pants were out of the way.

Hugo dug his fingers into Scorpius's arse and pressed up against him, trying to align their cocks. The head of Scorpius's prick painted a trail of wetness on Hugo's stomach as he grasped it, and fuck all if _that_ wasn't the most erotic thing he'd ever felt.

Scorpius's hand joined his between their bodies and together they fumbled around until they held both cocks in a combined grip. Scorpius held his hand still as he began to move his hips, dragging his shaft along Hugo's with every thrust. Hugo tightened his hold and did the same, dropping his forehead to rest on Scorpius's shoulder as their rutting became increasingly frantic. This, _this_ here, the slide of hardness on hardness and the sounds of repressed moans and grunts filling the tiny space of the cupboard, _this_ was the most erotic thing Hugo had ever felt, and he knew he couldn't last much longer.

He gripped harder as his thrusts sped up, and then he came with a shudder, warm fluid landing on his hand and Scorpius's hand and their cocks—_his come, it was on Scorpius's cock_—making everything more slippery and faster and better. Hugo slid his free hand down to cup Scorpius's tight balls, and Scorpius gave up thrusting, his hand rocketing with Hugo's over his slick length. He came with a badly-muffled cry, stiffening as he spurted strands of come all over their hands and the hems of their shirts, then collapsing into Hugo, breathing heavily.

Hugo clumsily brought his arms up around the other boy's shoulders, and inhaled the scent of his hair. He didn't feel like anything could make him move.

Anything, that is, except for the knock on the cupboard door that came a second later. Hugo and Scorpius simultaneously sprang away from each other, and raced to do up their trousers.

"Okay, I _know_ you're done now, so you might as well come out and put us out of suspense," Lorcan said.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," whispered Scorpius in a panic. "You reckon they heard?"

Hugo nodded once, grimly, although it was too dark in the cupboard for the motion to be visible.

The handle turned and the door creaked open, releasing a cloud of pungently perfumed air into the room beyond. The partygoers gazed at the boys with raised eyebrows and slack jaws, which was only to be expected, considering life was out to get Hugo. Of _course_ the cupboard wouldn't have been sound-proof.

"Come on," he muttered to Scorpius, his face burning as he grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the door.

Scorpius grinned. "This party was getting boring anyway."

He hurried alongside Hugo, and they made it past the staring faces and into the deserted hallway in record time. Hugo waited until they had rounded a corner and then leaned in to nip the faint love-bite he'd created on Scorpius's neck.

"Where do you wanna go now? We could... er, go to the Astronomy tower. I mean, if you still..." It felt different now, without the darkness of the broom cupboard to shield them and the premise of the dare to lend them bravery. Hugo didn't think it was a _bad_ difference, necessarily—for one thing, Scorpius was bloody gorgeous and light did wonders for his looks. Hugo could probably go on standing in the hall and staring at him all night if he didn't already know the possibility for _more_ existed.

Scorpius grabbed Hugo's arse in retaliation, and Hugo felt a rush of blood to his groin as his prick quickly took interest again.

"Or even better," Scorpius murmured huskily, "I've got the password to the Prefects' Bath. What would you bet it's empty this late at night?


End file.
